


Industrial-sized vats of Crisco probably aren't a good sign

by MahouBunnyBell



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Gen, M/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 09:53:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22025128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MahouBunnyBell/pseuds/MahouBunnyBell
Summary: Laurent is fairly certain that he's the only responsible adult in his family. AUGUSTE certainly isn't one.
Relationships: Auguste & Laurent (Captive Prince), Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 163





	Industrial-sized vats of Crisco probably aren't a good sign

**Author's Note:**

> I have been sitting on this bit and we'll, as much as I want to continue this whole universe, I'd rather just get this out there, too.
> 
> Un-betaed.

Laurent was occasionally convinced that his older brother had never really bothered to grow up, and that was the reason that he had to pick up the slack and be the adult in most situations.

Case in point: there seemed to be some kind of wild college party happening in the house that Auguste shared with Laurent. Which was concerning, as Auguste was in his thirties now and definitely way too old to be having a kegger. It was as if his brother was striving to fill in for the fact that Laurent, at nineteen years old, had no interest in the indignities involved in a drunken bash with a bunch of people he barely even knew.

Well, he did know  _ some  _ of the people here, at least. Jord was on the front porch with a red Solo cups, talking to a few people that Laurent vaguely recognized from his brother's gym. The blond grit his teeth a little and shouldered his backpack, walking over to find out exactly what was going on.

Jord had the dignity to look at least a little apologetic for the scene that Laurent had just come home to.

"You remember Damen, right?" Laurent did not, but he could piece together that the man must be one of his brother's  _ many _ friends. "He won his big fight last week and everyone felt like celebrating, and Auguste ended up inviting us all back here after the bar."

The bass was booming. Laurent could already feel a headache coming on. He was going to disown his damn brother.

"Where is he?" Laurent asked, not in the mood to blindly navigate a mass of strangers in search for the man responsible for this madness. Jord shrugged and scratched the back of his neck.

"I'm pretty sure he's in the backyard. You, uh, probably don't wan-"

Laurent didn't even wait for Jord to finish before pushing his way into his house and towards the back door, barely pausing to deposit his backpack on the staircase.

He passed a couple other faces he recognized. His brother's friend Orlant and that Kashel girl that Auguste was so smitten with. Most of the partygoers were strangers, though. At least to Laurent. He didn't doubt that his older brother actually knew every single person here. Auguste was the social one, after all.

Laurent stomped out onto the back porch, ready to yell at Auguste for filling their home with dozens of his drunk and rowdy friends. He didn't get far, though. No sooner had he stepped outside then he found himself face-to-chest with a rather amazing set of pectoral muscles. And biceps. And sliding lower...

Laurent was left speechless and staring at the cock of an insanely buff, insanely  _ naked _ stranger on his own back porch.

The man smelled kind of like butter. It reminded Laurent of fresh baked cookies.

"Are you okay? You're making me feel kind of self conscious here." A voice cut into Laurent's non-existent thoughts, and he jerked his head up to look into the face of the attractive, glistening nude man in front of him.

He had  _ dimples.  _ Laurent just gaped. Had he really never noticed that his brother had a friend who was this... this...

_ Why was he naked!? _

Laurent's brain finally managed to restart itself, and he looked around frantically to try to deduce what was going on. The rest of the scene he'd just barged in on was just as baffling as the naked adonis in front of him- there were a bunch of  _ other _ nude people present as well, along with several industrial drums of Crisco.  _ That explained the smell. _

It didn't explain much else though. Was Auguste hosting some kind of orgy or something!? In the backyard, on a Thursday night!? Had he had some kind of mental breakdown? Was Laurent just hallucinating all this?

"Are you going to wrestle too?" The naked giant asked while looking Laurent over, and Laurent was able to gather his thoughts enough to see what was happening in the soft grass of the backyard. It was indeed wrestling. Naked, greased up wrestling.

Laurent managed to find his words.

"I'm looking for my brother." He even managed to sound relatively calm and collected as he said it. The larger man quirked one of his eyebrows, before his face melted into something that resembled fondness.

"Oh shit! You're Laurent?" The man was smiling now, and his dimples were so absolutely dazzling that Laurent had to avert his eyes. Unfortunately he averted them right back to the stranger's groin, which only made things more awkward. Fine, face it was, then.

"Indeed. Do you know why there are naked people wrestling in my backyard?"

"Well, I know we're here because Auguste is the only one with a privacy fence. Auguste and you, I mean." The large man had the decency to look sheepish. "Pallas and Nikandros were talking about how people used to wrestle in the nude, and things kind of snowballed."

"Obviously." Laurent pointed out dryly, firmly keeping his gaze on the buff stranger's face. It was the least dangerous place to look right now. He was definitely way,  _ way  _ too gay for this whole situation. And this man met all his ridiculously high standards. It was terrible.

"I guess it must seem kind of shocking to walk in on. It's fun though. You should give it a try!" The man suggested again, and Laurent made sure  _ not _ to think about what it would be like to roll around naked with his new 'friend'.

"No. I'm keeping my clothes on." Laurent replied stubbornly. Mr. Biceps actually laughed, and it was the most beautiful sound that Laurent had ever heard in his life. He forced himself not to react to the sound. "Do you happen to know where my brother is? I need to speak to him."

"I think he's refereeing over there." Damen gestured towards the lawn, and Laurent made a move to flee towards the relative safety of less attractive naked people. The god of a man didn't follow him, thankfully.

He was so disowning Auguste. Or thanking him profusely. He hadn't decided yet. For now he just needed to  _ find _ him.

It wasn't too hard, thankfully. His brother was indeed refereeing matches, just as greased up and nude as pretty much everyone else in the backyard.

"I hate you." He offered as a greeting. Auguste perked up despite his words.

"Lau! You're home!"

"Yes, and said home is full of drunk people.  _ Naked _ drunk people, even!" Laurent fixed his coldest glare at his brother, but the man remained unmoved and unabashedly naked.

"We're the only ones with a privacy fence." Auguste pointed out, as if naked wrestling was a perfectly normal Thursday-night activity. Laurent huffed, but any response he'd had was cut short by cheering from one ring over as the naked man from earlier was now grappling with another buff (but notably not as large) man.

His brain short-circuited again. It was an alarmingly common occurrence tonight, apparently.

Auguste was staring at him. That fact only made Laurent's cheeks heat up more as he tore his eyes away from the borderline pornographic content that was going down in his own yard.

"I don't appreciate coming home to a... A  _ scene _ like this with hardly any warning." Laurent managed to sound somewhat composed and serious. If he'd been talking with anyone but his brother it might have worked, but Auguste was always able to see right through him. The older man raised an eyebrow.

"Wait... You're embarrassed, aren't you?"

"There are  _ naked strangers _ rolling around together in my yard, Auguste!"

"...Yeah, when you put it like that I can see why you might be surprised. Though you don't really seem to mind it." Auguste followed Laurent's gaze towards the wrestling pair. "...Is that your type? Buff?"

Laurent sputtered.

"I don't have a type!" Gods, the man from earlier had his opponent pinned to the ground now. Laurent's mouth felt dry. His brother was staring at him again.

"Do you want me to introduce you to them? I mean, you already know Damen..."

"You're the second person to imply I know this Damen man, and I still have no idea what you're talking about." Focusing on that fact seemed a much better option than admitting he wouldn't mind being introduced properly to the living statue that was now high-fiving the opponent he'd just taken down, good natured and smiling and just...

Laurent forced his eyes away  _ again. _ Why weren't his eyes cooperating!?

"Damen Akielos? You know, he lived next door to us when I was in high school. You used to follow him around like a lost puppy!" The man laughed. "I reconnected with him on Facebook awhile back, and he joined my gym! He remembers you! I bet he'll be shocked seeing you again!"

Laurent mentally did the math in his head... Back when Auguste was in high school he would have been...

"You mean when I was  _ three?! _ How on Earth would you expect me to remember something like that!?" The idea was ridiculous. Laurent could barely remember what Auguste was like during that time. How would he remember their old next door neighbor!?

"...You were pretty young back then, weren't you?" That fact had clearly never occurred to Auguste. Laurent rolled his eyes. That was a mistake, because they accidentally landed on Damen again. God, how could one man look so good!?

Auguste looked far too amused with Laurent's interest in the man. Probably because Laurent wasn't one to show interest in  _ anyone _ under normal circumstances. There was no doubt that he was enjoying watching his brother behave like a normal teenage boy for once.

"I guess I'll just have to reintroduce the two of you, then." He teased. Laurent turned himself back towards the house, ready to flee from this entire situation.

"Don't bother. I'm going to my room. Try to keep the volume down. And put on some pants!"

He was relieved when Auguste let him go.

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I have vague plans of writing more. Will it eventually happen? Who knows?


End file.
